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Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Is Life Throwing You a Curveball? Tips on How to Get Back on Track

In my last blog I said we were giving our Social Media a complete overhaul.  Yep we were and still are and what's more we'll be sharing more photography tips with you.  Promise!  These will be coming your way.

A burn out was not expected!

And I'm going to share this with you because if this has happened or is happening to you it may help you a little. 
If nothing else, it sometimes helps to know you're not alone.

It felt as if I'd put my life on hold.

Sometimes life gets in the way of your plans.  I believe this was a quote of John Lennon's - true and wise words.

It all began with a sudden sadness.  My Dad, my confidante, my unsung hero and the person who truly believed in me and my photography died very suddenly at 89.

Trouble is there was so much left unsaid, so much I wanted to talk to him about ...... I only hope he can hear me now from up there in heaven.

Here, reflector under arm and 'holding the baby' so to speak, he is assisting me on a pre-wedding shoot :)
And enjoying a glass of prosecco with my sister and I at Avon Beach.

We all believe our parents will live forever, even though we know that's not true.

Grieving is a very necessary process

And the day after Dad died I had to photograph a wedding.  Grieving had to wait.  A wedding waits for no-one. 

At first I thought it was a good thing to have something to focus on.  But now I know that not to be true.  I had no time to grieve then and not later either.

Truth is you never realise what you've got until its gone....

For several months life was a roller coaster ..... Malcolm said it seemed that I was in another world.  And actually I really believe I was.

I missed Dad dreadfully.  It felt like there was a gaping hole in my heart.  I know that sounds melodramatic, but I can't describe it any other way.

I still miss him and the hole is still there, sometimes deeper than others especially when a Facebook memory pops up and hits me right between the eyes.  It makes me sad and very grateful too for photographs.

Spinning plates .....

Since then .... August 2017 ..... there have been several further events (which I won't bore you with) but suffice it to say these events turned me upside down, inside out and completely flattened me ..... and still no time to grieve.

A life full of STUFF

S= So
T= Tough
F= Feel
F= Flattened

Controlling?  Indispensable? Or just caring?

Why do us women always feel we have to be in control, show strength, be indispensable and the only one who can help?  Putting everyone else first instead of ourselves.  I suppose it's our caring motherly instincts!

A wake up call ...

After 6 months of this STUFF I began to feel like someone else.  Didn't feel like me at all?  Have you ever felt like that?  Almost like I was looking in from the outside and not recognising this unhappy person.  I had become quite ill too .... all stress related according to my Dr.

It's important to realise that in order to help anyone we need to be well.  Superwomen we are not.  All this STUFF grinds you down eventually.

Time for action

Life's treadmill stops for no-one but it's important to step off now and again.  Slow down, take time to appreciate and be grateful for what you have.

So let's look at ways of stepping out of this pressure cooker before it boils over.


  1. ME TIME at least 10 minutes a day - mindfulness works for many and there's certainly a lot in the media about it.  I have tried it and sometimes it works .... it's just switching the mind off that's always difficult.  I, for one, am going to keep trying.
  2. TURN OFF social media after a certain time each day and be disciplined
  3. Take time to DO WHAT YOU LOVE - for me that's lots :)  To name but a few .... I love reading, needlework, art, writing and photography of course!
  4. LAUGH be sure to laugh lots.  Go on put a smile on your face now!  How does that feel?  People always used to say to me 'Jan, you're always laughing'  well that's going to be me again!  Bring on Michael McIntyre :)
  5. WALK - it doesn't have to be for long.  I love walking on the beach and am lucky enough to live close enough to hop in my car and in 10 minutes I can be on the beach.
  6. COFFEE BREAK - another thing I've done is missed coffee mornings with my friends.  Not any more.
  7. PAMPERING never did anyone any harm.  I love a pedicure - probably because it's getting harder to touch my toes :) 
  8. STOP telling yourself you're too busy.  Every day has the same amount of hours - be sure to put them to use them carefully and ensure there's plenty of ME TIME - oh yes and time for your partner too because although we're there for them and them for us, they also take the brunt of everything. :(
Go for a walk
Take time to chill out with a friend, husband or partner

Take time to stop and appreciate what's around you
A little bit of hygge  

Pampering with a pedicure

Read a book

Maybe write a journal

And relax ...........
AND one more for me .... I need to cry!  Yesterday my friend's Grandpa died.  I only met him once.  But I cried and cried.
I then watched the film Marley and Me.  Yep, I sobbed and sobbed.  
Did this do me any good?  I think it may have at last helped me to release a little grieving.
I still have a lump in my throat but I'm sure with my action plan above - if I stick to it - I'll get back to normal very soon.  

Is your life throwing you a curve ball?

Is your busy life stopping you from being you?  Are you giving too much time to others?
When are you going to give yourself time?

OR  maybe you are a master at spinning plates?

If so, share your tips here and save us all from tearing our hair out!

Lastly, if you managed to read through to the end ..... thank you and please share any comments .... all gratefully received.

Coming soon ...... a bit about me signing up for a writing workshop, and some more easy to follow tips on taking photos.